Hey,
Been's a really long time since i've written. Anyway, thought of writing about anger today. Many people have different ways of being angry and dealing with it. Like Soonee, she has to vent it out on everyone, and she has to make noise, but after that, she's back to normal. But i am completely different.
Out of a whole range of emotions, probably anger is the most weirdest. I can easily feel love, happiness, glee, even sadness comes to me easily but anger is the most oddest of all.
I am a pretty tolerant person, and i rarely do get angry. I get frustrated more often than angry, these two emotions are completely different.
When i get angry, haha, people stay away! But seriously, stay away. It takes me some time to internalize it, and when i do, stay away! I have forewarned you. The good thing is i am not hot-tempered, and i absolutely hate when people throw their anger onto people whom they are not angry with. So a good thing is, i don't do that. I am absolutely normal with other people. The biggest clue to know if i am angry is that basically, i become very silent. I refuse to talk to that person who made me angry. Even if do, it's done very crudely. It's simply called the silent treatment.
And seriously, that wouldn't be a good time to apologize as well. All you should do is to just remain silent, and let me forget about it myself. This process probably takes about days, if it's a small matter, and maybe even a week, if it's pretty big. Do not try to call me, or pester me for an apology, i get even more irritated and things become worse. And whatever you do, please do try to justify your mistake and my anger, you might as well forget about making it up to me.
I get over it myself, and when i do, i'll be normal to you. Then it's fine to apologize, i will accept your apology, but do not ever make the same mistake again, and do not keep talking about it. Once it's over, it's over. Do not bring up the matter again, it's over with, so let it stay that way.
Then things will be back to normal, just for those couple few days, where you have to be tolerant, of my silent treatment. It works very well though. Makes many people come down to their knees, makes them very irritated, personally, it messes them up. Haha, they realize their mistake and come running back. I am not hot-tempered though, it's not like it comes and goes fast. When it comes, it really comes for some time, and goes away slowly. And i do not verbalize or scold you for it, like some people feel better doing that, i do not do that, i expect you to realize your own mistake and feel bad about it yourself.
Well, that's me. How about you? How do you deal with your anger? Talk? Ventilate? Cry it out? Whine about it? Haha, or the Silent Treatment, which no one does better than me.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
My Granny
Hey,
This time of the year is a very memorable one. It's pretty sad actually, because on this day, we used to celebrate my granny's birthday. We don't know when her real birthday was, the one written in the IC was fake, and she didn't remember hers. So all her daughters used to gather on Mother's Day to celebrate her birthday. Sigh, she's been long gone, left all of us alone, for 7 years now. I will never be able to forget the day of her demise, i don't think i have ever wailed like that in my entire life, the tears just wouldn't stop, and the absolute last look of her before she disappeared into the incinerator. We still remember almost every single day.
We all expected her to last long, i guess, i expected her to last till i had my kids. I think she was the first death i had witnessed when i was older, and able to grasp the idea of death. I don't remember much about my other two grandparents one, i was very little then.
The next few days in school were just so depressing, i couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep, i couldn't stop thinking about her, heck, none of us even wanted to celebrate Vaisakhi. She passed away on April 11, 2001, the following days after that were Vaisakhi celebrations. The next year too, we didn't celebrate it like how we would have.
That's okay though, she's in a better place somewhere. Haha, she still does come visit us sometimes in our dreams, no longer in mine, but still in Gorii's. And we like to believe she went off happily, the last few months of her life were the happiest for her.
If she were still here today, i would have showered her with kisses and hugs, i wasn't very close to her when i was younger, but i did love her, and so did she. She loved everyone single one of us, haha, and when she nagged at us, we didn't see it as nagging, in fact, we loved her nagging at us.
The absolute best thing about her was her cooking, a skill i don't think she passed on to anyone. Haha, her food was just amazing. Another skill she didn't pass on to any of her daughters was plait-making, man, she made the best hair plaits ever! They were so tight, that your head hurt, and they were so high up on your head, but they never ever came loose.
I'll never forget her scent though, she had the scent of an old lady, it's very difficult to describe it.
She always had this small towel hanging over her shoulder, just in case she had to sneeze.
She just loved gardening, and she was so proud of her plants and flowers, she had the best garden in the entire neighbourhood.
Zubeidaa was her most favourite movie, she could watch it again and again every single day.
I can still remember every single little detail about her; how she combed her hair, how long her hair was, her cooking french toasts every single morning, napping in the afternoon while we played, and then watching TV3's news, and watching old hindi movies with her on the television, how she always busied herself with cleaning the house and cooking, haha, and how daring she was, she even carried a parang once. I just adore her.
I would just like her, wherever she is, to know that we still do think about her, alot, and we love her dearly.
Much love, XXX,
.Zephyr
This time of the year is a very memorable one. It's pretty sad actually, because on this day, we used to celebrate my granny's birthday. We don't know when her real birthday was, the one written in the IC was fake, and she didn't remember hers. So all her daughters used to gather on Mother's Day to celebrate her birthday. Sigh, she's been long gone, left all of us alone, for 7 years now. I will never be able to forget the day of her demise, i don't think i have ever wailed like that in my entire life, the tears just wouldn't stop, and the absolute last look of her before she disappeared into the incinerator. We still remember almost every single day.
We all expected her to last long, i guess, i expected her to last till i had my kids. I think she was the first death i had witnessed when i was older, and able to grasp the idea of death. I don't remember much about my other two grandparents one, i was very little then.
The next few days in school were just so depressing, i couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep, i couldn't stop thinking about her, heck, none of us even wanted to celebrate Vaisakhi. She passed away on April 11, 2001, the following days after that were Vaisakhi celebrations. The next year too, we didn't celebrate it like how we would have.
That's okay though, she's in a better place somewhere. Haha, she still does come visit us sometimes in our dreams, no longer in mine, but still in Gorii's. And we like to believe she went off happily, the last few months of her life were the happiest for her.
If she were still here today, i would have showered her with kisses and hugs, i wasn't very close to her when i was younger, but i did love her, and so did she. She loved everyone single one of us, haha, and when she nagged at us, we didn't see it as nagging, in fact, we loved her nagging at us.
The absolute best thing about her was her cooking, a skill i don't think she passed on to anyone. Haha, her food was just amazing. Another skill she didn't pass on to any of her daughters was plait-making, man, she made the best hair plaits ever! They were so tight, that your head hurt, and they were so high up on your head, but they never ever came loose.
I'll never forget her scent though, she had the scent of an old lady, it's very difficult to describe it.
She always had this small towel hanging over her shoulder, just in case she had to sneeze.
She just loved gardening, and she was so proud of her plants and flowers, she had the best garden in the entire neighbourhood.
Zubeidaa was her most favourite movie, she could watch it again and again every single day.
I can still remember every single little detail about her; how she combed her hair, how long her hair was, her cooking french toasts every single morning, napping in the afternoon while we played, and then watching TV3's news, and watching old hindi movies with her on the television, how she always busied herself with cleaning the house and cooking, haha, and how daring she was, she even carried a parang once. I just adore her.
I would just like her, wherever she is, to know that we still do think about her, alot, and we love her dearly.
Much love, XXX,
.Zephyr
Monday, May 5, 2008
personality quiz
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Well, whatever's been said about me is mostly true so far. Check yours now.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Well, whatever's been said about me is mostly true so far. Check yours now.
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Friday, May 2, 2008
25 things you probably didn't know about me.
1.) Haha, i am a mad woman. A complete nut-case. Completely Crack.
2.) I share an imaginary friend, with my cousin. His name is Abu. His grossly obese and all he does is eat, sleep and cry. A big cry-baby he is. Haha. Ooh, and he resides in Kajang.
3.) I am an ailurophobe. That means i hate cats. I am absolutely terrified of them.
4.) I am also claustrophobic, i am scared of small space. Scared that i can't get out of them.
5.) I would rather take the lift then the stairs, because i am afraid that i will fall down backwards while climbing up the stairs.
6.) My dream sports car is a; Dodge Viper.
7.) I do not wish to live any further than the age of 65.
8.) I would like to write a book on 100 creative ways to commit suicide. Though i don't think i will commit suicide myself.
9.) I love electronic gadgets. Watches, phones, computers, camera, etc.
10.) Haha, i had a lesbian crush on a woman once. Gosh, was she hot! It only lasted for 10 minutes though.
11.) I have this irritating habit; i think too much! I can't sleep without thinking about something.
12.) I am very competitive in any type of game. I have to win, i have to complete games, and i have to be the best scorer.
13.) I suck in poker! I don't have luck with cards. Just imagine how badly i would lose in StripPoker. ;)
14.) The best possible Drama Series in English would have to be; Six Feet Under by HBO.
15.) I did learn the play the violin for a few months before giving it up. Learnt it for the wrong reason.
16.) I can't draw for nuts, and i am so sad about it!
17.) Haha, when i am immersed in my work, my tongue naturally sticks out a little. It's reflex somehow, can't stop it, until i actually become aware of it.
18.) I am a very romantic person at heart, if i feel comfortable enough to show that side to you.
19.) Haha, i am a shy person.
20.) I have absolutely no problems speaking in front of a large crowd.
21.) I debated in all 3 positions. First Speaker, Second Speaker, and Third Speaker, which was the absolute best position to debate. Even got Third Overall Best Speaker Trophy in debating championship. But we lost out to MGS in final for Mayor's Shield. Damn you bitches!
22.) Haha, got kicked out of a library before.
23.) My dream holiday destination is; Italy.
24.) I am very protective about the people i love.
25.) Haha, i can play chess.
Much Love,
-.Zephyr
2.) I share an imaginary friend, with my cousin. His name is Abu. His grossly obese and all he does is eat, sleep and cry. A big cry-baby he is. Haha. Ooh, and he resides in Kajang.
3.) I am an ailurophobe. That means i hate cats. I am absolutely terrified of them.
4.) I am also claustrophobic, i am scared of small space. Scared that i can't get out of them.
5.) I would rather take the lift then the stairs, because i am afraid that i will fall down backwards while climbing up the stairs.
6.) My dream sports car is a; Dodge Viper.
7.) I do not wish to live any further than the age of 65.
8.) I would like to write a book on 100 creative ways to commit suicide. Though i don't think i will commit suicide myself.
9.) I love electronic gadgets. Watches, phones, computers, camera, etc.
10.) Haha, i had a lesbian crush on a woman once. Gosh, was she hot! It only lasted for 10 minutes though.
11.) I have this irritating habit; i think too much! I can't sleep without thinking about something.
12.) I am very competitive in any type of game. I have to win, i have to complete games, and i have to be the best scorer.
13.) I suck in poker! I don't have luck with cards. Just imagine how badly i would lose in StripPoker. ;)
14.) The best possible Drama Series in English would have to be; Six Feet Under by HBO.
15.) I did learn the play the violin for a few months before giving it up. Learnt it for the wrong reason.
16.) I can't draw for nuts, and i am so sad about it!
17.) Haha, when i am immersed in my work, my tongue naturally sticks out a little. It's reflex somehow, can't stop it, until i actually become aware of it.
18.) I am a very romantic person at heart, if i feel comfortable enough to show that side to you.
19.) Haha, i am a shy person.
20.) I have absolutely no problems speaking in front of a large crowd.
21.) I debated in all 3 positions. First Speaker, Second Speaker, and Third Speaker, which was the absolute best position to debate. Even got Third Overall Best Speaker Trophy in debating championship. But we lost out to MGS in final for Mayor's Shield. Damn you bitches!
22.) Haha, got kicked out of a library before.
23.) My dream holiday destination is; Italy.
24.) I am very protective about the people i love.
25.) Haha, i can play chess.
Much Love,
-.Zephyr
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Uncle Jasbeer's Birthday Party
Hey everyone!
Haha, i just can't stop thinking about this, so thought i would just write it down.
Last month, when i was in KL, we had to attend an uncle's birthday party. And haha, all of us were dreading it, because we know the guests who are invited, aren't exactly our crowd. We simply can't stand them, show-offs! Haha.
Anyway, i actually did have fun. We were seated in one table the whole time, doing our thing, which is being mad pretty much. Haha, then the birthday cake was cut, and it was sooo emotional and nice, aunty kissing uncle on his cheeks, and his children hugging him on his 50th birthday. After the cake was cut, somebody just had to sing that birthday song, it's the mark of PS Gill's family members birthday parties. In E-V-E-R-Y party, this song just has to be sung, or not the party is incomplete.
Baar baar din yeh aaye, baar baar din yeh aaye, tu jeeya hazaron saal, yeh meri hai aarzoo, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
Aiyoh!
His daughter, Kiran, even came down, from Singapore. She was telling me that she works in Burger King, as a manager, in Plaza Singapura. She was inviting me to come over some time, haha, she would give me free burgers and stuff. Haha, and i thought, i don't even like Burger King, i would only come there to talk and eat nothing! Haha, how mean of me. Mean-o!
Anyway, the men were all happily nestled in the chairs, drinking. Uncle Jasbeer came and sat down with us, started chatting, haha, and we were planning his second marriage! What a nice man. Then our conversation steered towards Zeenat Aman, and Mumtaz.
PS Gill was happily showing off my "mummy's" new car to his aunties. Sigh... when will he ever stop? Haha, and he started the long family tradition, of singing old songs while they're all drunk.
When it was time to leave, haha, we all were begging Uncle Jasbeer to say a sher.
Uncle Jasbeer: Arz kiya hai....
All of us: Ishaad....Ishaad
Uncle Jasbeer: ( i dun remember the sher, except that it was about mehfil and wine, and people meeting, wonderful!)
All of us: Wah! Wah! Wah!
Drunk Men: Main shayar to nahin, magar eh haseen, jabse dekha maine tujhko mujhko shayari aa gayi. (Haha!)
So cute, all of them, big sized men with huge bellys, singing old songs, like grizzly bears sitting around together, humming, and talking about politics. Blah!
Okay, ciao!
XXX,
.Zephyr
Haha, i just can't stop thinking about this, so thought i would just write it down.
Last month, when i was in KL, we had to attend an uncle's birthday party. And haha, all of us were dreading it, because we know the guests who are invited, aren't exactly our crowd. We simply can't stand them, show-offs! Haha.
Anyway, i actually did have fun. We were seated in one table the whole time, doing our thing, which is being mad pretty much. Haha, then the birthday cake was cut, and it was sooo emotional and nice, aunty kissing uncle on his cheeks, and his children hugging him on his 50th birthday. After the cake was cut, somebody just had to sing that birthday song, it's the mark of PS Gill's family members birthday parties. In E-V-E-R-Y party, this song just has to be sung, or not the party is incomplete.
Baar baar din yeh aaye, baar baar din yeh aaye, tu jeeya hazaron saal, yeh meri hai aarzoo, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
Aiyoh!
His daughter, Kiran, even came down, from Singapore. She was telling me that she works in Burger King, as a manager, in Plaza Singapura. She was inviting me to come over some time, haha, she would give me free burgers and stuff. Haha, and i thought, i don't even like Burger King, i would only come there to talk and eat nothing! Haha, how mean of me. Mean-o!
Anyway, the men were all happily nestled in the chairs, drinking. Uncle Jasbeer came and sat down with us, started chatting, haha, and we were planning his second marriage! What a nice man. Then our conversation steered towards Zeenat Aman, and Mumtaz.
PS Gill was happily showing off my "mummy's" new car to his aunties. Sigh... when will he ever stop? Haha, and he started the long family tradition, of singing old songs while they're all drunk.
When it was time to leave, haha, we all were begging Uncle Jasbeer to say a sher.
Uncle Jasbeer: Arz kiya hai....
All of us: Ishaad....Ishaad
Uncle Jasbeer: ( i dun remember the sher, except that it was about mehfil and wine, and people meeting, wonderful!)
All of us: Wah! Wah! Wah!
Drunk Men: Main shayar to nahin, magar eh haseen, jabse dekha maine tujhko mujhko shayari aa gayi. (Haha!)
So cute, all of them, big sized men with huge bellys, singing old songs, like grizzly bears sitting around together, humming, and talking about politics. Blah!
Okay, ciao!
XXX,
.Zephyr
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